i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
