Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
