i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
