So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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