I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
