I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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