Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
