What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
