hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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