guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
