Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
