Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
