what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
