Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
