Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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