Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I need to sanitize my soul.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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