Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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