Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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