The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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