This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
