Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
