I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You smell like stripper and shame
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
