Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
