You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
