He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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