i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
this must be what syphilis tastes like
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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