how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
