What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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