I'm going to jail i love you
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
