these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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