I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
