Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
