I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
