You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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