Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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