Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
he was CRYING into my vagina
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
