Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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