I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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