she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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