I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
