The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
