Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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