that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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