it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
