why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
