Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
