Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
