This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
lets start a swedish sibling band together
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
