I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
