Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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