I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
