i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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